So you are driving to walmart and notice a really fit gal jogging down the street, she's got matching shorts and shirt, headphones blasting music, and some cool sunglasses on which keep her very far away from the reality that surrounds her. She is checked out. You have never spoken to her but you know her. She's the chick from highschool who had it all. Size 2, great hair, awesome car, great personality.... the girl you wanted so bad to be. She's the girl that if you were her... all would be right with the world.
As you drive past you can't keep from looking in your rear view mirror... just to check and see if she has stopped, or is walking.... but no, she is still jogging (you roll your eyes). She looks like she could run forever, and.... she probably can. As you look forward and drive to walmart you feel the tightness of the seatbelt on your waist, the steering wheel which is just too close to your stomach, and the aches in your back and feet..and know the hour you spend shopping with leave you exhausted and searching for the tylenol... . you think... "MUST BE NICE TO BE HER".....
You cannot imagine having the energy to jog 200 meters much less miles and miles, you envision yourself in her outfit and see all the flab hanging over.... you feel the pain of each step and you pound away on the sidewalk.... you know you will NEVER be her. To be her means you never had a baby, you never got depressed, you never took pills to sleep at night, you never went to caffeine for energy, you never at 2 rolls of garlic bread in one sitting, ..... to be her means either high metabolize or starving yourself.... to be her means hours of sweat with no pain and never being tired. You can't be her.. cause she is impossible to reach.... in your mind she is the Olympic athlete who's entire life revolves around being fit... She the girl on the top of the trophy.... she's not real... but there she is. It makes you mad. Its not fair. Its sucks.
As you walk through the store you keep telling yourself your not that bad.... that there are other people worse off, you notice the guy in the scooter shopping and feel pretty good cause your not him... ......once you have time... you will focus on watching what you eat and working out.... The entire hour at the store you alternate between "why do I even care" to "who is she to have it all together".... You buy a bag of powdered sugar donuts and check out...
After the donuts you feel like crap, NEVER AGAIN will I do this.... but you will.
Your doubts and frustrations with what you have done to yourself always lead you back to the food. Its the merry-go-round from hell, and you have been on it all your life. It's who you have always been, but no one really knows.
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It's hard for me to comes to terms with what I have become. You see... 4 years ago I was the girl in the car..... today I am the runner. It's insane, it's surreal.
I have learned that though we are different we are soooo much alike. Both struggle everyday to be ok with what they did with the past 40 years of their life... Both struggle to not let food, stress, and life take over. .. Both want to be better than they are today but see life passing by. Both wonder what the future holds. Both pray every night to be a good example, to be a good wife, to be a good mom, to be a good friend...
I have learned a lot on my journey.... I have learned that fitness and health is not something you finally "reach" and your done. I have learned that healthy living is a continual adaptation and mental challenge. I have learned that who I was 4 years ago.... has a HUGE effect on where I am headed.
I remember that girl. I was so miserable, so sad, I had no hope. I made a decision one day to try ONE MORE TIME... I made a decision to be OK if I failed again.... That day I thought it was my last time to start over. If I didnt succeed I would work on being OK being a size 18. I fell asleep praying that night, tears running down my face.
God had a plan, I just needed to have the courage to accept where I was and what I had done to myself... I had to take it one day, one slice of bread at a time.... I had to learn to love myself with the grace I would love anyone else with... I had to ask God to help heal my negative self talk and self doubt....
I am not any different from you...... I am just 4 years away from deciding not to quit. My life has been about figuring out what works for me, about being ok with it taking 4 years to figure what healthy means to me.... about learning that what everyone else does can't bother me anymore.... this is my life, my choices and I have to live with myself. I have to believe I can change.
I choose happiness, I choose a life of no backaches, no headaches, no migraines, no stomach aches, no sleepless nights, no more sugar highs and lows, no more pain from scar tissue, no more beating myself up 90% of the time.
God has a funny way of working... I wish I could tell the 300lbs woman who struggles to walk a mile that she inspires me because of not what she is like on the outside but of who she is fighting to become... .she's a warrior... shes a fighter...
I re-watched my transformation video today with some amazing gals... I hadnt watched it in over a year... as I sat there I sat amazed at what God has done in my life.... Who am I to be a trainer? Who am I to be a fitness instructor... how did this happen?
the simple answer
Prayer, Hope, and Starting Over.
Click here to view the video
http://mybodmod.blogspot.com/p/my-story-in-video.html
As you drive past you can't keep from looking in your rear view mirror... just to check and see if she has stopped, or is walking.... but no, she is still jogging (you roll your eyes). She looks like she could run forever, and.... she probably can. As you look forward and drive to walmart you feel the tightness of the seatbelt on your waist, the steering wheel which is just too close to your stomach, and the aches in your back and feet..and know the hour you spend shopping with leave you exhausted and searching for the tylenol... . you think... "MUST BE NICE TO BE HER".....
You cannot imagine having the energy to jog 200 meters much less miles and miles, you envision yourself in her outfit and see all the flab hanging over.... you feel the pain of each step and you pound away on the sidewalk.... you know you will NEVER be her. To be her means you never had a baby, you never got depressed, you never took pills to sleep at night, you never went to caffeine for energy, you never at 2 rolls of garlic bread in one sitting, ..... to be her means either high metabolize or starving yourself.... to be her means hours of sweat with no pain and never being tired. You can't be her.. cause she is impossible to reach.... in your mind she is the Olympic athlete who's entire life revolves around being fit... She the girl on the top of the trophy.... she's not real... but there she is. It makes you mad. Its not fair. Its sucks.
As you walk through the store you keep telling yourself your not that bad.... that there are other people worse off, you notice the guy in the scooter shopping and feel pretty good cause your not him... ......once you have time... you will focus on watching what you eat and working out.... The entire hour at the store you alternate between "why do I even care" to "who is she to have it all together".... You buy a bag of powdered sugar donuts and check out...
After the donuts you feel like crap, NEVER AGAIN will I do this.... but you will.
Your doubts and frustrations with what you have done to yourself always lead you back to the food. Its the merry-go-round from hell, and you have been on it all your life. It's who you have always been, but no one really knows.
----------
It's hard for me to comes to terms with what I have become. You see... 4 years ago I was the girl in the car..... today I am the runner. It's insane, it's surreal.
I have learned that though we are different we are soooo much alike. Both struggle everyday to be ok with what they did with the past 40 years of their life... Both struggle to not let food, stress, and life take over. .. Both want to be better than they are today but see life passing by. Both wonder what the future holds. Both pray every night to be a good example, to be a good wife, to be a good mom, to be a good friend...
I have learned a lot on my journey.... I have learned that fitness and health is not something you finally "reach" and your done. I have learned that healthy living is a continual adaptation and mental challenge. I have learned that who I was 4 years ago.... has a HUGE effect on where I am headed.
I remember that girl. I was so miserable, so sad, I had no hope. I made a decision one day to try ONE MORE TIME... I made a decision to be OK if I failed again.... That day I thought it was my last time to start over. If I didnt succeed I would work on being OK being a size 18. I fell asleep praying that night, tears running down my face.
God had a plan, I just needed to have the courage to accept where I was and what I had done to myself... I had to take it one day, one slice of bread at a time.... I had to learn to love myself with the grace I would love anyone else with... I had to ask God to help heal my negative self talk and self doubt....
I am not any different from you...... I am just 4 years away from deciding not to quit. My life has been about figuring out what works for me, about being ok with it taking 4 years to figure what healthy means to me.... about learning that what everyone else does can't bother me anymore.... this is my life, my choices and I have to live with myself. I have to believe I can change.
I choose happiness, I choose a life of no backaches, no headaches, no migraines, no stomach aches, no sleepless nights, no more sugar highs and lows, no more pain from scar tissue, no more beating myself up 90% of the time.
God has a funny way of working... I wish I could tell the 300lbs woman who struggles to walk a mile that she inspires me because of not what she is like on the outside but of who she is fighting to become... .she's a warrior... shes a fighter...
I re-watched my transformation video today with some amazing gals... I hadnt watched it in over a year... as I sat there I sat amazed at what God has done in my life.... Who am I to be a trainer? Who am I to be a fitness instructor... how did this happen?
the simple answer
Prayer, Hope, and Starting Over.
Click here to view the video
http://mybodmod.blogspot.com/p/my-story-in-video.html
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