What is NORMAL anyway? A quest to be like everyone else. The desire to blend in to show the world you can be just like them.
I threw out normal a long time ago I think. I was always different. I didnt like being different. I was outspoken, honest, and confident as a child. I was the youngest of 4 and well I could sure speak my mind!
I lost that gift of being ok with being different when I was in my 20s and 30s.... I wanted to be like everyone else. You know THOSE people who have it all together? The moms who must have a personal shopper cause their clothes are so in style, the ones who's kids are always dressed perfectly and are placed in every activity under the sun, birthday parties to the hilt.... you get the picture. I always wanted to be like them too with their cute figures inspite of them eating sugar or being addicted to starbucks or fast food.
I finally realized that the act of being normal is not worth the cost i had to pay. 60lbs over weight, stressed out because I was fighting who I really was. I could go and do and eat and play and laugh and cry just like the rest of them but something was missing. I lived the same life as 99% of American women... Work, kids, work, kids, house, kids, hubby, work, play... work for vacation. work for eating out, work for kids to have fancy toys, work so i could go shopping cause I deserved those cool clothes and things....... well.... IT DIDNT WORK. I tried to make it work and wondered how come I was such a failure while everyone else seemed to be so happy and in love with their jobs and irritated with their family. It seemed opposite for me.
I was too worried about what everyone else thought and not worried enough about being true to myself. Why do we let society decide what is normal for us. Why do we feel the need to keep up with the Jones? Why can't we see past our things and put our masks down. How do we loose sight of our God Self? The person we were created to be? The little girl at age 3 who is confident, happy, self assured and joyful? The person that knew God would take care of her. The one who loved those around her and was an active participant of her life instead of feeling like life was dragging her around?
Of course, you know I quit my job. I am a stay at home mom, on one income (well.. plus the little I make coaching)... and it was the best decision we made. BUT.... it didnt fix it all. I still spent the majority of my time on the couch, exhausted, aches and pains abounded. What had I done to myself? I wanted out. I tried so many times. But finally after almost .. good grief is it 4 or 5 years.... I am here HAPPY and feeling better seeing the world as I use to ages ago. Food controlled me... my emotions, my energy, my life.... but not anymore.
Life is great. The world is amazing..... I am blessed to have brought myself out of the mess I had made.
What have I learned?
I AM NOT NORMAL! I was never meant to be like everyone else. I am an INDIVIDUAL! Unique and created by my God. I am here to be ME!
What does me mean? Me means I like to run, I like to sing, I like to draw, I like to dance, I like to laugh, I love my husband and my kids and LOVE being around them 24 hours a day. Me means I can't eat like everyone else. Me means I get up at 4am to exercise and people thing I am crazy. Me means I like to be strong not weak, healthy not sick, happy not sad.
I am not normal and I am fine with that.
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workout update:
2 mile run this morning on my ankle that is GREAT now and my hamstrings that are sooooo sore I can hardly move LOL..... weight lifting is wonderful isnt it! ha
tomorrow I plan a 4 miler and upper body....
Extra haha moment for you:
While at walmart i was asked by the cashier if I was OVER EIGHTEEN!
seriously. She looked me square in the eye and said "you are over 18" ... I had no make up on, hair in bangs and pony tail, and a college shirt on.... I guess I looked the part... .LOL....
Was the best shopping experience I have had since I was ... well.... 19 LOL.
I threw out normal a long time ago I think. I was always different. I didnt like being different. I was outspoken, honest, and confident as a child. I was the youngest of 4 and well I could sure speak my mind!
I lost that gift of being ok with being different when I was in my 20s and 30s.... I wanted to be like everyone else. You know THOSE people who have it all together? The moms who must have a personal shopper cause their clothes are so in style, the ones who's kids are always dressed perfectly and are placed in every activity under the sun, birthday parties to the hilt.... you get the picture. I always wanted to be like them too with their cute figures inspite of them eating sugar or being addicted to starbucks or fast food.
I finally realized that the act of being normal is not worth the cost i had to pay. 60lbs over weight, stressed out because I was fighting who I really was. I could go and do and eat and play and laugh and cry just like the rest of them but something was missing. I lived the same life as 99% of American women... Work, kids, work, kids, house, kids, hubby, work, play... work for vacation. work for eating out, work for kids to have fancy toys, work so i could go shopping cause I deserved those cool clothes and things....... well.... IT DIDNT WORK. I tried to make it work and wondered how come I was such a failure while everyone else seemed to be so happy and in love with their jobs and irritated with their family. It seemed opposite for me.
I was too worried about what everyone else thought and not worried enough about being true to myself. Why do we let society decide what is normal for us. Why do we feel the need to keep up with the Jones? Why can't we see past our things and put our masks down. How do we loose sight of our God Self? The person we were created to be? The little girl at age 3 who is confident, happy, self assured and joyful? The person that knew God would take care of her. The one who loved those around her and was an active participant of her life instead of feeling like life was dragging her around?
Of course, you know I quit my job. I am a stay at home mom, on one income (well.. plus the little I make coaching)... and it was the best decision we made. BUT.... it didnt fix it all. I still spent the majority of my time on the couch, exhausted, aches and pains abounded. What had I done to myself? I wanted out. I tried so many times. But finally after almost .. good grief is it 4 or 5 years.... I am here HAPPY and feeling better seeing the world as I use to ages ago. Food controlled me... my emotions, my energy, my life.... but not anymore.
Life is great. The world is amazing..... I am blessed to have brought myself out of the mess I had made.
What have I learned?
I AM NOT NORMAL! I was never meant to be like everyone else. I am an INDIVIDUAL! Unique and created by my God. I am here to be ME!
What does me mean? Me means I like to run, I like to sing, I like to draw, I like to dance, I like to laugh, I love my husband and my kids and LOVE being around them 24 hours a day. Me means I can't eat like everyone else. Me means I get up at 4am to exercise and people thing I am crazy. Me means I like to be strong not weak, healthy not sick, happy not sad.
I am not normal and I am fine with that.
---------------------
workout update:
2 mile run this morning on my ankle that is GREAT now and my hamstrings that are sooooo sore I can hardly move LOL..... weight lifting is wonderful isnt it! ha
tomorrow I plan a 4 miler and upper body....
Extra haha moment for you:
While at walmart i was asked by the cashier if I was OVER EIGHTEEN!
seriously. She looked me square in the eye and said "you are over 18" ... I had no make up on, hair in bangs and pony tail, and a college shirt on.... I guess I looked the part... .LOL....
Was the best shopping experience I have had since I was ... well.... 19 LOL.
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