What IF!???? (update)

So.
What IF:

What if I couldnt run anymore..................

Its been only 3 days since my last run and it feels like an eternity. You know my story. You know the theme in my life of starting over. Starting over is just the way it is. To be fit, to be healthy you have to learn to love starting over.

Well, excuse me for been a big baby here... BUT I DONT WANT TO START OVER!
there.
I said it.

You know.. I built up this mileage, I was feeling so great. Its been almost a full year since i have had anything to keep me from running. Frankly, I am a bit spoiled. My life is just not the same with out running. Running has become my relaxation, my freedom, my time alone and with God, my time to think, to cry, to scream, and to dream. What happens to me if that gets taken away? What happens to me if I cant run anymore? Someday.. when I am old and gray(er).....I know there will come a day when running and walking will not be possible. What in the world will i do?
I think I will close my eyes and dream of running. I will probably loose myself in a world of art and paintings whose theme is running. I will talk about how I use to run and bore people with the mundane stories of my running life and how it changed me.

I believe things happen for a reason. My increadable run two weekends ago (the 16 miles) was the worst and best run of my life. When I was finished I felt amazing! and was shocked with how easy it was physically to do 16 freakin miles. I was happy. I was proud. I was thinking of the next long run and how I was going to take my time and really enjoy it. I was looking forward to the next run like I use to look forward to birthday cake and ice cream. then.

BOOM.

ITband ......it sounds like a wanna be pop rock band name. It sounds so harmless. But what a pain in the butt ITband can be.
My plan was to rest for 3 days. Surely 3 days would be enough to recover and rest the durn band and get me back on my feet.
but.
NO>

I still have pain. I still cannot run. Coach told me today... atleast a week off from running.
WHAT?
a week.
thats like a month.

So, here I sit... frustrated at myself cause I knew better than to run 8 miles on a surface i wasnt use too. I knew better than to run 16 miles and then go to church and sit for 2 hours without good stretching and ice soaking. I knew better than to try to run this past weekend even though i cut it short.
I knew better.

I did this to myself. and ..... that sucks.


Whats a runner to do when she cannot run?

She does other things that will make her a better runner.
1. lifting weights
2. stretching
3. eating better
4. pushups situps
5. using the time mentally to refocus and reconnect with my priorities and goals in running.


My next run will not be until Monday. .......this.. of course those my whole plan off .... so no marathon on my birthday. I am rethinking what to do.... but leaning toward a full at the end of October.

Patience will get me there, determination will make me stronger. Because this isnt about just ONE race, one event. This is about being a runner for life.......because fast, slow or in between.... it makes me who I am spose to be. God has used running in my life to bring me back to who I was meant to be... my 2 year old self who trusted, believed, dreamed and wondered what was possible in this world....being anything short of that is just not acceptable any more. So.. until I am healed...........I hope, pray, and do what I can to be fit and healthy.


Todays plan.
100pushups 100 situps(DONE! 100 pushups, 100 situps)
NO sugar (but from fruit)
weight lifting in the garage while I dream of running again.(DONE! leg extensions, leg curls, deadlifts)
stretching (DONE! on floor and ball)


Whatever your cross,whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain....
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love.


Gal. 6:9 "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up."

10:45am UPDATE:
workout DONE! (life's always better after a good heart pumping, sweaty workout! Legs r jello, abs too :) woowhoo.