I have always said I am NOT a morning person.
I use to drag myself out of bed by 9am at the earliest.
I use to get up, drink a dr pepper eat breakfast and sometimes... go back to bed!
I use to stay up until midnight or 1 am. I would sit up after everyone else went to sleep so I could have some "quiet alone time".
I use to sit and watch tv late into the night eating ice cream and popcorn/soda.
For nine years I was a Residence Hall Director (dorm mom) on a college campus. I spent 9 years staying up until 1 or 2 or 4 in the morning. I was NOT a morning person. Nine years of imprinting in my brain that 8am was the middle of the night led me to believe I would always be a night person. :)
To be a person who just WAKES UP.... at 415 or 430 and isnt sleepy? ... i mean.. come on!
WHAT IS THAT???
I have a sweet friend who has always been a morning person. She would wake up at 5am or earlier. I could never understand a person that did that. THAT has never been me.
Not anymore.
so many things have changed in my life. My attitude, my self esteem, my energy levels, my self talk. In so many ways I am a completely different person. It's so strange.
This morning I had my alarm set for 520am. Track practice is at 6am. I woke up at 415am. Wide awake. The simple fact that I can just wake up without the aid of caffiene or a shower... is amazing. Alllll my life, even as a kid I NEVER woke up full of energy. I would always go grab a poptart, or cin. toast, or just a coke and crackers (yeah.. for breakfast).... THEN and only then would i feel awake.....
Was the problem I wasnt getting enough hours of sleep? no.
The problem was sugar. The problem was my blood sugar. I had NO idea what I was doing to myself. Fast forward to 2006.. there I was working out, "watching" what I ate and getting fit. But I still lacked energy. I still struggle to get out of bed. I never just woke up ready to go. The reason. I was still eating processed sugar. I was still struggling with my addiction.
Some days I just want to scream, or go on the news, or preach it on the corner of main street "SUGAR IS a DRUG".... I was a person who lived in denial. I was a person who thought life with no sugar meant a life of deprivation, Sugar was my energy. If I didnt eat sugar there was NO WAY i would make it through my day. Addicts dont like to hear the truth. The truth that what they are eating is what is killing them. Addicts live in a self imposed prison. That was me.
"Weight loss" really isnt that hard. All these millions of books, millions of diets, millions of dollars spent on programs and weight loss "formulas". Its all a BIG joke. People like to believe its HARD to loose weight and be in shape. They like to complain that they will never loose weight.. they could never be in shape... . I know.. cause I was one of those people.
The cold hard truth is..........
My weight is a problem created by ME and no one else.
My lack of fitness is a problem created by ME and no one else.
No one MADE me eat donuts and drink dr pepper.
No one forced me to eat like crap.
My weight problem didn't need a book.
My weight problem was MORE than a physical problem. I was an addict, plain and simple. I was in denial, I loved sugar and food more than I loved myself. I used food emotionally.
I could loose weight if you really wanted too.... I could have done medifast, or slimfast, or the grapefruit diet. I could just not eat. I would loose weight. But, because of my addiction.. the problem would not be solved. Because, the strange thing is.... its about the food- and the role it plays in our lives. Being fit and full of energy does take work for an addict, but it is NOT complicated. The biology of weight loss is NOT that difficult to understand.
I am soooo happy I finally figured out that breaking my addiction (mentally physically and spiritually) was the key to my prison. Was it easy? yes and no. It was a PROCESS. I had to learn patience and discipline. I had to educate myself. I had to want to change.
Sitting here in front of the computer I can honestly say "I am a morning person".
Its an amazing thing.
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