could i just have a do over? yeah.. a do over.. . lets rewind back to last Aug and let me just do it all over.. not get injured.. not wait $ on a race i couldnt run, not get the flu multiple times, not gain 15 or 20 lbs back.. NOT have to start over, and over, and over...
yeah. just a do over.
If i had a do over.. I wouldnt be feeling fat and heavy, my clothes would fit, i would have shorts to wear, i would have energy, i would feel strong, i wouldnt mind my belly pooch,
If I had a do over I would have run a marathon by now.. I would be in training for another .. and feeling great.
but..
Do overs are just dreams and a waist of brain energy..
I cant rewind..
I have to face the fact that I have 20lbs to loose and that my lack of energy just means i have to FORCE myself to get up out of bed, get the workouts done and not turn to bad foods to make me feel better.
I have to face the fact that I feel (FEEL) like I just wasted the past 7 months...
I have to face the reality of what not being consistent, not being focused, will do to me. Lack of consistency leads to lack of progress.. lack of steady progress leads to frustration, ... frustration over and over leads to negative self talk over and over and over.. the "i cants" the "i wont be able tos" .. .. .. and THAT leads to the pits
sometimes i just want to quit. ... its the truth... I want to just lay it all down.. eat like i use too and caffenate, and sugar my way through life. Sometimes I just want that false energy i use to get from cokes, even though i know it only lasts an hour, atleast for that hour i would be able to get moving.. feel energitic..
sometimes it feels like too much work.
that sometime was today.
I have been knocked down.. and it seems thats the theme for me this past 7 months. My current issue (my foot) is ok.. I ran a mile today and walked another 1/2 .. its still tender so i am taking it easy......... the "run pretty much sucked".....
so a workout of sorts was done ... but i still needed to vent.
maybe I should have just had a green smoothie high instead of venting. ..
I will try that next time :)
the thought future me is what keeps me going.
yeah. just a do over.
If i had a do over.. I wouldnt be feeling fat and heavy, my clothes would fit, i would have shorts to wear, i would have energy, i would feel strong, i wouldnt mind my belly pooch,
If I had a do over I would have run a marathon by now.. I would be in training for another .. and feeling great.
but..
Do overs are just dreams and a waist of brain energy..
I cant rewind..
I have to face the fact that I have 20lbs to loose and that my lack of energy just means i have to FORCE myself to get up out of bed, get the workouts done and not turn to bad foods to make me feel better.
I have to face the fact that I feel (FEEL) like I just wasted the past 7 months...
I have to face the reality of what not being consistent, not being focused, will do to me. Lack of consistency leads to lack of progress.. lack of steady progress leads to frustration, ... frustration over and over leads to negative self talk over and over and over.. the "i cants" the "i wont be able tos" .. .. .. and THAT leads to the pits
sometimes i just want to quit. ... its the truth... I want to just lay it all down.. eat like i use too and caffenate, and sugar my way through life. Sometimes I just want that false energy i use to get from cokes, even though i know it only lasts an hour, atleast for that hour i would be able to get moving.. feel energitic..
sometimes it feels like too much work.
that sometime was today.
I have been knocked down.. and it seems thats the theme for me this past 7 months. My current issue (my foot) is ok.. I ran a mile today and walked another 1/2 .. its still tender so i am taking it easy......... the "run pretty much sucked".....
so a workout of sorts was done ... but i still needed to vent.
maybe I should have just had a green smoothie high instead of venting. ..
I will try that next time :)
the thought future me is what keeps me going.
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