From Despair to Desire

So after a day (yesterday) where i had three crying sessions cause i was so frustrated and upset at how bad i felt and wondering how long it would continue. This morning i woke up with a surprise of feeling better! My sinus' are still messed up but the aches that went along with the congestion was gone! PRL! My back was no longer in spasm mode and I was just happy to feel up to taking the kids to track... SHOOT i was happy to be able to get out of bed without feeling like i could pass out!

I did a mile walk (slow) this morning at track and it really seemed to help the tightness in my lower back. Then i spent most of the morning with the kids deep cleaning out living room-den and part of the kitchen. I started feeling pain and tightness around 2 this afternoon and decided to walk on the treadmill to see if it loosened up... AND IT DID!.. i still have to be careful how i bend over but after some good stretching its LOTS better.

The treadmill walk got me to thinking... I MUST get myself back in to
DO WHAT I CAN mode.
so.... heres a list of what i can do ... and hope to do this week:

• walk every morning and evening to keep my back loosy goosey.
• stretch like a mad woman
• heat and ice alternating to keep swelling down
• do upper body weights (arms and chest)
  
• try and drink a gallon of water a day
• no more blue bell :)
  
• up my veggies
• stay positive.
• go back to the chiro if it's not better in a few days
  

one thing i decided i have "learned" from this experience is that i have a TRUE
deep down DESIRE to be a long term runner. Its my sport. I love it. I miss it terribly.
I also have a deep seeded desire to FINISH a full marathon. The whole "should i really be doing this" and "what am i crazy" stuff is officially out of my mind. I know now that I am .... one day... going to complete a marathon.

So from Despair to Desire.... it took a while to get here .. but i really really know i am back now.
If i wake up with a blister on my foot or a huge headache.. or some other thing to keep me side tracked... I am promising to .... from here on out... to
DO WHAT I CAN

I have no other choice but to fall back into my old habits and ways. Becoming a couch depressed potato (would that be a potato pancake?) and looking forward to the next guest on oprah. I refuse to become that person again AND to start watching oprah again... I simply cant.(image from here)

so..until next time
I will be "working to become the runner, mom, wife, and person i was born to be!" Working on getting back my fit energetic pain free body.. which was the reason i started this whole process 2 years ago.

blessings