First of all let me say that I never thought this day would come. Secondly..they DO fit but ARE a bit tight. I never would have thought when I started my program 120 days ago that this would even be possible. I am just amazed at what living this way, feeding my body, and working out correctly and being consistent can do! Now I have a new goal.. I want these to fit and not look so tight on me (hopefully by thanksgiving). I figured out today while shopping that I am at an inbetween stage.. sixes are to loose, and fours are too tight.. anyone sell FIVES? .. oh well. I also bought a pair of kaki pants that were originally 115.00 I got them for FIVE bucks! They dont fit perfectly but shoot.. it was only FIVE bucks!
Today in our Bible class we talked about prayer. I am a praying woman, of course. So I though I might share with you how I prayed before and during my transformation.. and how I continue to pray.
I was laying in bed late one night. The house was quiet. Everyone else was asleep. I laid there feeling fat, unhealthy, depressed, sad, and overwelmed. I was tired. I was wornout. As I lay there quietly.. I remembered how I felt 5 years ago when I was fit and healthy. I remember the energy I had eventhough I had two small children and a 24-7 overfull time job. I wanted to feel like that again. I had tried several times in the last few years to get that back and always failed. I decided I wanted this time to be different... I wanted this time to be the last time I started over.. I new I could do it.. BUT I couldnt do it by myself.
So .. I prayed.
It was something like this:
"Dear God. Please help me. Please help me be a better wife and mother. Please help me take care of myself so I can take care of my family. Please do what needs to be done to get me to change my life. I remember how you helped me five years ago. How you helped me stay focused and helped me remember what was important. Please, I ask again, give me the strength I need to start alllll over again. Give me the strength to resist temptation, and to live differently so I can be an example...... Please get me out of this bed in the morning (and every morning) and get me moving. I know you will. You did before. I believe you will help me change. .. in Jesus name.. Amen."
So.. that was it..
I had hit my rock bottom. I was done with being the way I was. I didnt care what it took to get myself back. I wanted to change.. BUT I understood that I needed Gods help!.
The following three weeks were very difficult. I started blogging everyday to help keep myself accountable. I didnt know if any one was reading it.. But it made a huge difference in my mind to thing some one just MIGHT be reading. I went to bed every night and just as I would go off to sleep I would pray "Thanks for this day. It was awesome (or.. the day was really really hard but you got me through).. tonight I ask again.. help me get out of this bed in the morning and get that workout done. Help me stay focused.". And you know what.. Praying something like that.. .. I was out of bed every morning. I would think "I have to workout cause I prayed about it.. Gods gona take care of this for me.. but I have to do my part."
And thats it.. I keep doing that.. and He keeps helping me.
I have been so inspired and shocked by the changes in myself. But I am more amazed at how God could use me to change other people. This taking care of yourself isnt just about YOU. Its about Gods kingdom. To think of the people you could touch by changing how you live. By taking care of yourself. There are people out there who need to see this happen in your life so they have the courage to change their life. Other moms who are tired, wornout, depressed, and overwelmed.. (just like I was) ..........SO> in the morning .. or this week.. when you dont want to workout, or feed you body they way it aught to be fed. Remember, this isnt just about the size you are, its about the changes you are making that are changing the way you live, the way you think, they way you feel about yourself and others (your perspective).. and that will change the way others see you.. you kids, your hubby.. your friends, its about living better so you can be a better soldier for His kingdom.. its more than just body fat. its more than size 4
.. Someone needs your example. They are closer than you think.
I praise God for the chance to do my little part. I praise God for his faithfulness and blessings. Size four is a great goal.. but its only a size.. it will come and go.. .Being healthy and living a positive life for His kingdom..Being a better wife, mother, and friend.. thats the Goal worth reaching for.
My God continue to bless all of us on our journey!
PS>. (just to lighten things up a bit after that deep post)
Do you think it would be ok to start the "mini pearl" fashion trend again of wearing the tag on the pants! Does it really have to come off? .. shoot.. it does. ok then.. I will keep it taped to my alarm clock so I will see it first thing in the morning :) heheh
Comments
Have you ever thought about being a personal trainer? You have such a great way of motivating without sounding pushy.
These are the things I loved about your post:
* The reminder that it's taken you 120 days. I need to remember that this is going to be a long process for me. I'm struggling with not seeing results RIGHT NOW, and I just need to quit doing that!
* That you started out exactly how I feel: fat, sluggish, unmotivated, depressed.
* That you've included God in your journey. Sometimes I think, "What does God care about helping me lose weight?" This is so limiting to God's power, isn't it?
Keep writing posts like this. I know you're helping many of us to keep going.
as far as the personal trainer question.. yes I have thought about it many times.. I think it would be great.. but it requires more schooling and $.. so.. who knows.. I would love to train people and have them come to my house to workout but there is a liability with that too.. so who knows.
wouldnt it be neat for churches to have trainers on staff to help the church family ... could take care of the physical and the spiritual body as well!
yep.. 120 days.. sounds like such a long time.. but it gets here wether we are working out and eating right or not.. funny how that works. :) hehe..
i am off to lift. .. postyalater
Of course, I KNEW I had to workout so I could post, so I did and now I feel strong, like I could conquer the day! Thanks for reminding me - I am not that different!