If I was allergic to peanuts, or chicken, or cinnamon, or any other various foods it would be easier.
It's not easy because I am allergic to the things I loved all my life.
How can we LOVE a food? What does that mean? It's such a norm in our culture but its not healthy. Should I LOVE food? Well, it depends on what that food does for me. For me food has always been where I went when I was frustrated, sad, happy, excited, and most often that not.. what I went too to find energy. Food.... has always been a drug for me.
I remember as a elementary student daydreaming in class in the late afternoon, feeling exhausted and in a fog dreaming of the 7-11 down the street and the bike ride and brought the glorious Slurpee and 3 musketeers bar my way..... then knowing hours later i would reach for a box of saltines and a glass bottle of coke mom had in the fridge.
Food got me thru my day.... It cured my lows and made me high!
This was my life for 40plus years. Sugar, Gluten, sugar and more gluten. A life of NO energy, HIGHS and massive stomach aches, and headaches....
Why then... does it surprise me that I still have issues with food?
If I had been addicted to alcohol for 40 years, or Gambling... would I be surprised that to find I still had issues with those addictions only a few years after trying to quit?
Food.... is the OK addiction.
Food is the addiction that people encourage you to go back too.
"Your not having any?... awe.. poor you, just one wont hurt"
"You mean this whole row in the grocery store contains items you cannot have?.... Because it makes you feel bad?, surely you can have an oreo!!" ...
Strange isnt it.
So here I sit with a fairly good week of gluten free and highly raw nutrition eating behind me. Sitting here in my backyard under my wonderful pecan tree with a massive headache and low energy all because of the last meal I consumed.
Sometimes I dream and wish I was like everyone else. Where pasta and french bread didnt give me diarrhea, where going out to eat meant the freedom to order whatever I wanted without cause for concern. But my life is so vastly different now. There are consequences to everything I think of eating. Its so frustrating to be so vastly different than those around you and those times when I cave in and eat like everyone else.... I pay the price.
It makes me mad, really ... and then I feel stupid cause it makes me mad... why can't I except the reality that I am Gluten Intolerant, Sugar sensitive while at the same time being a Gluten addict and Sugar addict.... seems simple.. ha
I wonder ...
Why?
Why can't it be easier?
It's not easy because I am allergic to the things I loved all my life.
How can we LOVE a food? What does that mean? It's such a norm in our culture but its not healthy. Should I LOVE food? Well, it depends on what that food does for me. For me food has always been where I went when I was frustrated, sad, happy, excited, and most often that not.. what I went too to find energy. Food.... has always been a drug for me.
I remember as a elementary student daydreaming in class in the late afternoon, feeling exhausted and in a fog dreaming of the 7-11 down the street and the bike ride and brought the glorious Slurpee and 3 musketeers bar my way..... then knowing hours later i would reach for a box of saltines and a glass bottle of coke mom had in the fridge.
Food got me thru my day.... It cured my lows and made me high!
This was my life for 40plus years. Sugar, Gluten, sugar and more gluten. A life of NO energy, HIGHS and massive stomach aches, and headaches....
Why then... does it surprise me that I still have issues with food?
If I had been addicted to alcohol for 40 years, or Gambling... would I be surprised that to find I still had issues with those addictions only a few years after trying to quit?
Food.... is the OK addiction.
Food is the addiction that people encourage you to go back too.
"Your not having any?... awe.. poor you, just one wont hurt"
"You mean this whole row in the grocery store contains items you cannot have?.... Because it makes you feel bad?, surely you can have an oreo!!" ...
Strange isnt it.
So here I sit with a fairly good week of gluten free and highly raw nutrition eating behind me. Sitting here in my backyard under my wonderful pecan tree with a massive headache and low energy all because of the last meal I consumed.
Sometimes I dream and wish I was like everyone else. Where pasta and french bread didnt give me diarrhea, where going out to eat meant the freedom to order whatever I wanted without cause for concern. But my life is so vastly different now. There are consequences to everything I think of eating. Its so frustrating to be so vastly different than those around you and those times when I cave in and eat like everyone else.... I pay the price.
It makes me mad, really ... and then I feel stupid cause it makes me mad... why can't I except the reality that I am Gluten Intolerant, Sugar sensitive while at the same time being a Gluten addict and Sugar addict.... seems simple.. ha
I wonder ...
Why?
Why can't it be easier?
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