Here is the definition... and where I believe a big problem lies with our society. ...
"To cause to become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance: The thief was addicted to cocaine."
You see... the example? Drugs. .... So.... If I dont do drugs or alcohol or tobacco... then I am ok right? I have it all together.... It seems that way in society. I mean.. when was the last time you have seen a sign that said "food-kick the habit" or ... "Don't do Bread". ... I mean.. its just not right.. it doesnt add up.
I have been on and off a mostly raw diet (some see as drastic i know) for weeks at a time throughout this past year.... I feel GREAT when I eat that way.... but for healthy eating to be a real, natural, happy part of my life I have to get over my addictions. I want to be around food and be happy, not tempted or have a feeling of poor little me.... currently I am eating about 50 to 75% of my food raw... I am not keeping track. I eat it cause its what I crave...
So.... I told you I am an addict. But you see.. I thought I was cured. I have a handle on my Soda habit (formerly a 8 to 10 can a day drinker).... I kicked my ice cream habit (formerly a 4 scoop a night eater).... and I kicked my sugar habit (sweet tea, candy, cakes.. donuts!)...
Now ... when I say "kicked" I mean for the most part those foods are out of my life.... because you see with any addiction those items can grab a hold and suck you back in.... .. this happens to me every once in a while.... ... but for the most part I am done with those.
So.... you see.. I am healthy! right?
Wrong.
I am still an addict. I have a problem and I am working hard emotionally to kick it. My addiction is gluten. For the Celiac... Gluten is poison. It's hard for me to understand why .. if I know something is harmful to me.... why would I ingest it. Every I do .. I pay a price. ... But. see.... thats addiction.
"Just one bite wont hurt.... just one meal ... I havent had gluten in 2 weeks... I deserve some". . ...
It's been over a year since I realized Gluten was responsible for 40 years of stomach aches, years of exhaustion, and depression. Over a year of struggle to change my diet. It seems like it shouldnt be that hard... right?... I have finally come to grisp with the fact .. that like sugar, and sodas, and candies, ... I have a big problem mentally with gluten.
THAT ... MY FRIENDS.. SUCKS. You see.. I thought i was "DONE" working through my issues with food.... I thought I had conquered my unhealthy eating habits. ... I thought.....
Some people will say.. "whats the big deal?" ... I have heard it's easy to go gluten free.. they have gluten free EVERYTHING... but ... gluten is in EVERYTHING.... sauces, breads, cereals, spices, .. the list goes on.... ......... Go to the grocery store.. 95% of the items there are things I cannot eat. Its overwelming.. it sucks. But... its reality.
So.. Here I am ... a bit over a year into this.... and I am now 4 days off a Gluten binge. I had bread at Johnny Carinos, Bread at a Steak Place, Fries that had gluten, and a sauce that contained it. It didnt seem like a lot.. its not like I ate massive amounts... but it was enough...
Enough to make me so sick. Bloated, Irritable, Miserably tired. I was EXHAUSTED for 3 days! You know the type of exhaustion that feels like the flu.... that. I almost didnt make it thru my zumba class on monday! ... it was a horrible feeling.
I looked up why exhaustion is a symtom for celiacs. What is it that makes me so exhausted. What I have learned is this is an auto immune response... I eat Gluten and my body FIGHTS it like a bacteria or virus.. (thats about as best as I can explain)..... So all my energy is used up dealing with what I have CHOSEN TO PUT IN MY BODY!!!! Its insane i CHOOSE to eat it..... but I do...
that's addiction.
I am now 4 days out from Gluten intake... Yesterday after about 330pm I started regaining my energy! I now feel fantastic! I am posting here to share my frustrations just like I did with my other addictions... Its not easy to come out of the closet and admit there is an issue... I am not as strong as I think and some days I just give in....
the good news?
My husband is on board to help me.... my goal is 1 month with no Gluten.... 4 days down... 26 to go.
Thanks for reading ..
for more information on celiacs..
http://www.celiac.com/
list of symptoms...
http://www.celiac.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6&Itemid=12
http://stephsceliacdisease.blogspot.com/2009/03/list-of-celiac-symptoms.html
blessings!
r
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